Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

Did you see that gesture?  Communication comes in more forms than just verbal.  Understanding the message often includes what is NOT said, just as much as what IS said.  When people speak, much can be derived from the words chosen, the tone of voice used and the word stressed.  

When someone asks “What’s the matter with you?” in a soft calming voice, you can bet that person is trying to show concern and maybe even empathy.  Whereas, when someone asks “What’s the matter with you ?” in a stern voice with emphasis on the you, you can bet that person is not exactly pleased with you.  

But what if someone asks “What’s the matter with you?” while gently rubbing your shoulders and looking deeply into your eyes?  Or what if someone shouts “What’s the matter with you ?” sticks their chest out and waves their hands abruptly in the air as if shooing away imaginary insects in the air?  It becomes pretty clear within certain circles what the person is really saying.

Body language and non-verbal gestures can be very important in conveying messages; however like different foreign languages, the gesture may not always translate the same across borders.  Cultural differences once again are at play; the wrong gesture can inadvertently lead to confusion or offence:

• The thumbs-up sign is like the middle finger in Greece and Sardinia. 
• Fingers under the left or right side of your face, under the jaw bone, flicking out like you are trying to remove a speck of dirt from your face is worse than the middle finger, in Arabic cultures.
• An American tapping a finger to his/her temple is a gesture indicating that someone should think or remember something, but suggests craziness to a Russian. 
• Nodding or shaking one’s head might even be misunderstood abroad. The yes-no gestures are reversed in Bulgaria and Albania.
• In parts of East Asia, gesturing is considered crude, and would be rude in a professional setting.
• Silence can be very meaningful in different cultural situations. In Western cultures, like the US and the UK, silence might seem uncomfortable, and be perceived as a sign of inattentiveness or disinterest.
• In China, silence can be used to show agreement and receptiveness. 
• In Japan, silence from women can be considered an expression of femininity.
• Eye contact in most western countries is a sign of confidence and attentiveness. 
• In many Middle Eastern countries, same-gender eye contact tends to be more intense than the western standard.
• In many Asian, African, and Latin American countries, direct and continuous eye contact would be considered aggressive and confrontational. 
• Cultures that tend to be conscious of hierarchy or class, might feel that avoiding eye contact is a sign of respect for bosses or elders.  For example, in Thailand, children won’t look at an adult who is speaking to them, nor will employees to their bosses.

Communication is not easy; mind your words and mind your body language, especially when communicating across cultures.  As a visitor to a foreign land, it is best to at least learn a few basics, just as you would learn to say “Hello” or “Thank you”; it couldn't hurt to also learn a few non-verbal points of communications.

Additionally, locals should also try not to get so offended if a foreigner “accidentally” insults you with their non-verbal gestures, it’s not always easy being an expat or tourist.  Body language adds a whole other element to the cultural landscape.

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